UGH!

OK, so I am doing fine and my health, although I have to take another pill, seems to be getting better, and yet everything else seems to be falling apart. I can't afford to pay my bills. My parents have been sending me money and for that I am grateful, but it also depresses me because I am capable of working and yet am not able to. I realize this is happening to many people across the country right now and maybe I am just taking it too personally because of everything I have been through these past two years, but come on! I tried to apply for low income discount DWP help and I made too much money last year, by $300! Can you believe that! Ridiculous! I have been on unemployment all year and I don't qualify for low income assistance! I figured when I called unemployment and they said that my extension paperwork had not gone thru that it was a sign to go for the disability like my therapist kept telling me to do. Unfortunately that paperwork hasn't gone thru yet either and with the holiday next week I might have to wait even longer. And I found out from the manager of the apartment building that if I can't pay the rent by the 15th that I will probably be served a 3 day notice. I know my parents can't afford to help with that much! I just hope I get the disability check by then! Until then I will probably be living with this headache, again.

I feel hopeless. All I can see is the negative. I ache all over. I want to cry. I thought I was doing better, but these mood swings are driving me nuts! My mom said it could be from the underactive thyroid. I was thinking it was from lowering my dose of Lexapro, but whichever it is it doesn't help! I am all alone here. I check facebook constantly looking for a message or anything from anyone and I get very disappointed when there is nothing. I don't know how much more I can take. I have reached out to friends and get nothing. And now I am completely broke. What am I here for? What am I supposed to do? Everytime I try to do something I get pushed back down. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I should be able to see it, one week and it'll be a whole year since my last procedure, but I feel like I am worse off now than I was then! I don't know what else to do. I just hope that everyone else in my position is doing better than I am.