Life Is Strange

I went out to celebrate my one year procedure free anniversary with some friends last night and I had a great time! I relaxed, I did have a couple of drinks, I danced, I laughed, and I had a really great time. This morning I woke up feeling achy and sore, me knees are burning! I have a hard time moving my left leg so dancing for me involves bouncing my knees and moving my hips... well, my knees are killing me and my throat is sore but I have a better clarity of my situation and I know what I have to do. My parents are sending me money to help out, I am going to sell a lot of my stuff, my drum kit, dvds, cds, Wii, possibly my stationary bike, and anything else I can think of. That will take care of Dec and Jan and by then work will pick up and I should be able to find a job again. If I can't I will figure something else out, but for now I am staying on disability, to make sure I keep my health insurance and to help pay union dues, and I am working on my apartment. I make excuses for not doing stuff and its time I stop doing that. I need to clean this place up and keep it clean and organized and perhaps then things will fall into place. May sound weird, but I think that is my lesson here. I have been sitting on my ass waiting for something to happen when I need to make it happen. Its not like I can make a job for myself, but by keeping busy and productive I am putting that out into the universe, does that make any sense? A couple years ago before I was diagnosed I was about to lose unemployment and couldn't find a job so I started cataloging all my movie posters (I have a big collection though I know now its not worth much) to sell on ebay. Well, a week later I got a call for work and I just kept on working until my diagnoses and such for 13 months so it pays to put that energy out there.

One of my friends was supposed to join me last night but couldn't make it so she is taking me to lunch so I must go get ready. Oh, BTW, many people, my parents included, have suggested that I move back in with my parents for awhile. This would be fine if they didn't live in PA. I want to be here in CA so I can work when there is work. I have nothing to do in PA, no way to make a living and would hate it, though it would be nice to be able to see my family and my friends but I need to stay here. Things will work out. If I need to put my stuff in storage and sleep on someone's couch to stay that is what I will do. I do thank you all for your support!